I just finished reading this book by John Eldridge, and have to say that it has brought out things about the gospel that I remember from my early days, but had sadly forgotten, covered by the shifting sands of unconfessed sin, covered up and hidden away from sight by the Evil One.
The impact of the parts discussing practical spiritual warfare have shown a light on a dark place, and I think will have a lasting impact on me. Somehow, the faith I have been praying for, seeking for, no, begging for, seems to have been kindled in my heart again.
I know that after journaling for months, asking God for strength, faith, discernment, truth to be revealed to my heart, He speaks to me through this book. A book that a man gave me, a book he was holding, just waiting to meet someone who needed it. Thank you, Father. This past weekend, reqading these chapters, I sat in the garden at my mother-in-laws, and saw my naked, squirming little heart before God, reaching up to Him asking for faith, for forgiveness, for help. He did not turn me away, but allowed me to stay right there, pleading, weeping, laughing, all the while knowing that I am not even close to where I need to be, but I have made a start. Actually, God made the start this weekend. I’ve tried a thousand times, but never could find enough faith, and this weekend it seemed that the veil was partly removed, and I saw with my heart what I’ve needed to see for so long. God is GREAT, eternal, loving, but He is God… I am not. Master as opposed to slave. Modern christianity puts God in a theological box, and trys to let him out on Sundays, and maybe Wednesday nights.
He cannot be contained, controlled like a circus animal. And when He chooses to move, to act, to DO, the earth will melt before him, it will bow and tremble.