“The tension in which both despair and faith are present is the enigma of human existence. It reveals the dual personality of man: his greatness and his wretchedness; his eternal calling to the living likeness of God and the downward pull of his likeness to the beasts.”
I don’t know who to attribute this quote to, but I found it buried in my hard drive, waiting for me. I know this tension today, I feel the downward pull of my likeness to the beasts. For more than one reason. I feel my weakness, despair, and my need for resurrection. Greater Joy is calling out into the dark, like a beacon. Come, Lord Jesus.
Today we found out that my Father’s AML (Acute Mylogenous Leukemia) has taken a turn for the worse, and is progressing to the advanced, aggressive stage of the disease. He’s had it for 5 months now, and with relatively few serious complications. Today was supposed to be a routine visit, but the blood work was not good, and the Doctor called him back in to explain the gravity of the situation. Tomorrow he’ll get a transfusion. It is not unexpected. I love him dearly, this man who is a part of me, whose earthly image I bear. And I will mourn him when he’s gone.
1 Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to you.
2 Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.
3 For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers.
4 My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.