Waking in The Night

Lately, I’ve been waking in the night.

I’ll wake up agitated, sweating, and have to lay there on top of the covers to cool off, thinking.

I usually begin praying for my wife, 3 feet away, which is honestly hard right now, and thinking about what God is up to, hoping I don’t miss it because I am spiritually nearsighted. Hit me right between the eyes with it, Father! Last night I awoke, and started thinking about temptation. And as I lay there thinking about the temptations of life, I remembered several scriptures.

I Cor 10:13, There is no temptation taken you except that which is common to man, but God is faithful and will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape.

Or, Heb 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

And again, Heb 2:18 For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

As I lay there thinking about these, my heart felt like it was on fire, I felt stronger, encouraged, I knew God was just waiting to help me in my time of need. I fell back asleep, not worried about how the future might turn out, about the possibilities and impossibilities, but confident that God will be there to meet me along the way.

Lately I’ve had many times when I feel like I am lost, hopeless, utterly at a loss to explain anything. And then I realize that even this is in God’s hands, and that he is good, kind, loving, and if we return to him he will take the trash of the world and turn it into treasure.

That gives me hope.

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Aha! Look what I've created. I... have... made... FIRE!!!
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3 Responses to Waking in The Night

  1. ~m2~ says:

    jim, why is it difficult to pray for your wife right now? because of things she is doing or because of things you yourself are doing?i would think the latter because you quoted the temptation verses, not that it is any of my business, but coming from someone who has wrestled with a certain temptation demon for so long, i would understand why it would be difficult to pray for your spouse. i found it difficult to pray for mine during that time (five years is a long time, on and off, mostly on, but i am digressing….)but keep praying for her, keep praying. keep storming the throne of grace to obtain help in your time of need. hang onto the Scripture verses you mentioned and get to the bible, head-on, in your spare time to see what else He has in store for you. He is with you during this trial.and so am i. praying.

  2. Jim says:

    Look out, back up alarms, dump truck unloading…She won’t participate in marriage counseling, says its a crock. She has gone once, and ate the counselor for lunch, and then said she’s never going back. The temptation verses are specifically because I am tempted to just quit, I have tried everything and have about given up, and feel like I want out. Jesus was tempted like us, he wanted to quit, “Father take this cup”, but he didn’t. I need that kind of resolve, anything less won’t do right now. At home we have no communication, “nothing”, for along time now. I try, but she generally blows me off. I am not seeking anything outside of my marriage, it’s just that there is nothing going on within it, and she says that she’s content to keep it that way. It’s a vacuum, that hurts. I don’t think she’s having an affair. I am not, and won’t. She basically has said that she just doesn’t care about me any longer, and is just staying for the kids.I want what is best for her, I do, she needs Jesus. But we’ve gone down dfferent paths. Several years back she said she saw me changing, and she didn’t want me to. She tried to stop, prevent, me from doing anything remotely church related. And if I did, she became insanely mad about it. Not speaking for days. She hates church, believers, etc. But I’ve not been able to help it, I want to follow Jesus. The challenge now is to follow him in this. I don’t know the answers, most days I am in a free fall, and am hoping God has his catchers mitt on.Needless to say, please pray for me. I need it.

  3. ~m2~ says:

    He not only has His mitt on, dear one, but He’s also the umpire behind the plate.it must be difficult to connect with her when she is basically avoiding Truth. all you can do is pray for her, continue to pray for God to change you (i call it the “acceptance brings change prayer” — pray for the acceptance of the other person as she is, and the change part usually comes from within you), keep trekking where the rubber meets the road and know that God answers all prayers, even if it is a *no*. i just read in a book a quote (or reference) by CS Lewis saying (paraphrasing, bear with me…) “we will spend most of our time in Heaven thanking God for the prayers He never granted.”i happen to believe that is true. sometimes His *no* is for good reasons, which we feeble humans will never be able to comprehend this side of Heaven. that is why He is God, and we are not.still praying, be assured. am actually going to send up a prayer and light a candle so it’s a 15-hour thought. you gotta love Catholics 🙂

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