My perspective of what is good, what is desirable, of what life should look like is changing. I once thought that the goal was a nice, smooth life. One that was “under control”. The Spirit is the spirit of self control, right? And to live this way, I needed to exert myself more, and by that I mean exert control over others in order for that beautiful controlled life to be mine. I know people like this, who seem to be able to control their environment, have it all in hand. Everything in their life seems to be going just swell. But if you look under the hood, they might be steps away from a train wreck. There are cracks in facade, some of their players are not very happy.
I’m becoming a whole lot more honest about who I am. I’m usually a low-key, go with the flow kind of guy. You might say a Type B personality. I don’t like to draw attention. But I do wear my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get. And I’m fairly verbal, I want to talk about things, to work them out. I don’t see much benefit in pretense, and can speak a little too directly at just the wrong time. It’s a natural talent.
So… the ship is making a slow, but predictable turn. More like a dive, going down by the nose, like the Titanic.
And I am beginning to look more like a pedal-to-the-metal, nail-it-to-the-wall, drive-it-off-the-cliff kinda guy. I have changed. From passive nice guy to one who is less afraid of what people may think, and more concerned with what God may think. It may be that I’ve begun to finally grow up, or am I less sensitive?
Locusts and Honey, anyone?
I still shave and use antiperspirant, though.
I hear Belk’s has Hair Shirts on sale.